This portal is a site of resistance and potential. This portal is a place we don’t normally get access to. As we speak my follicles are inflating, injections every night for two weeks preparing my eggs to be extracted and frozen for a future time, to grow into little creepy crawler critters. Who will have so much to teach me, and I them, including but not limited to, the alphabet:
A is for agency, abortion, accessible at any time, any reason always
B is for brovaries building babies, for breaking the broca gene curse, for believing patients, for the blessing of butt sex
C is for c section circumcision cut cut cut crease, for my cycle which, surprise, came 5 days early
D is for dick energy: silicone or flesh, its all real to me
E is for estrogen as it enters me, tradesies?
F is for follicles flexin’, for fertility clinic misgenders me every time I enter, take my blood and my dignity, for freezing time, for future, the one we want to see
G is for gonads go Knicks go nuts go get some, genepool predisposed to gay anxiety
H is for HOLE, Holy Hole, is for held hostage by your anatomy, heart disease and hypochondria,
I is for intravenous anesthesia so you won’t feel them extracting, is for IUD and irony, is for injections 3 times for 2 weeks nightly
J is just the tip, subcutaneously
K is for Kel Kel the baby boy who never got to
L is for let them be, is for lymph nodes and libido, lovers who hold you while you inject
M is for miracle, masturbation and make believe, is for menstruation, once a month when your dick gets cut off, bloody mess kept in a box, returned in 3-5 business days
N is for not never but not right now
O is for out of pocket, makes you wanna stockpile black market hormones and hoard them for pals as party favors
P is for pleasure in pheromones, is for pregnant daddy, the me I see so clearly, reminder that I’m doing this to be what I needed, is for polycule parenting experiment, we’ll see!
Q is for queer community
R is for all the reparenting we do collectively,
S is for seeking sperm donor! is for selfish? To bring children into a world of school shootings
T is for t4t4t4t baby, trade titties for testicles Mx. lady, for take it away, for trust in your team and the timing, for tasty testosterone, tattoos pointing toward t-Dicks
U is for ultrasound, spread legs it’s gonna be cold and invasive
V is for virility
W is for wide, this portal to my insides
X is for examine, express and expel the energy of anyone who’s ever crossed my boundaries
Y is for you are doing your best with what you’ve been dealt
Z is for zygotes of the zodiac, is for zombie apocalypse— or the unpredictability of tomorrow. flinging your faith at the unknown and bravely building bridges for the next generations (XYZ back to ABC) anyway.